Where do you hide to make private phone calls? Where are you out of sight of your loved ones for at least five minutes?
How do you deal with stressful holidays? What strategies have you developed to escape overstimulation?
–> Click here to take the test
Ps. Of course, there are times when nothing works. Then it’s time for the roller coaster.
When you think about it, no one is completely independent. As soon as we buy a product, use a service or even a calendar to look something up, we are interdependent – not independent. Interdependence is the norm.
So it makes no sense to try to reduce accommodations for people with invisible disabilities like FASD or autism “so they can learn to be independent”. You don’t take a wheelchair away from someone who needs it, and you don’t take a cane away from someone with a visual impairment “because they’re already doing well with it”.
A young adult with FASD or autism may still need help getting dressed, packing their bag, and being reminded to eat and drink to help them get through the day. Why should that support be reduced if it provides relief to the person whose brain already works much harder than that of a neurotypical person?
Maybe a student doesn’t know the order of the months by heart, even after weeks of practice – but this student knows how to look it up online. Why blame her/him if the brain is simply struggling with memory?
These issues are prevalent among caregivers of and people with invisible disabilities. Unfortunately, this is often coupled with the realization that the environment is not willing to embrace this mindset.
…and my interpretation about EQUAL and FAIR treatment.
In the context of neurodivergence (and in other areas too, of course), needs and required supports or accommodations can vary widely from person to person. Treating everyone “the same” can not work. It is therefore necessary to look for solutions that meet the needs and the conditions of the individual and allow everyone to experience success.
To explain this to my children I created my own interpretation of equal and fair treatment.
Night moles are moon lovers. One night the three night moles were admiring the full moon. Each of them stood on his own molehill. They were all the same size. Unfortunately, the big mole blocked the little one’s view. So they had to come up with a solution so that the smallest one could also have a good view. They had to come up with a fair solution.
Why didn’t they just swap places, the little one with the big one? First, because the little one didn’t like someone standing behind him, and second, he simply had the right to stay in his own place.
Ps. Have you noticed that they all wear red shoes?
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